Looks That Kill

Looks that Kill in Amy Sohn's Mating column.
Photo: Everett Collection

When I was in my mid-twenties I briefly dated a very successful, very unattractive guy I'll telephone call Film Maker. I was at Void with friends, and as soon as he was introduced to me I felt woozy considering I was such a fan of his oeuvre. It didn't bother me that he was 1 of the uglier guys I had seen in my life. On the reverse—I decided that his depression hotness was a cracking counterpoint to his loftier Q rating. It didn't matter how successful and sought-afterwards he was. If he was that weird-looking, he would never leave me.

So I hit on him. I must have washed something correct because a few hours later we found ourselves horizontal on his futon. He put on an OCMT (obsessively compiled mix record), and we rolled around for a while earlier falling comatose. The next morning when I got abode he left a sweet message, and I called back, over the moon. We went out two more than times, and he revealed himself to exist an incredibly narcissistic, gloomy guy who was totally preoccupied with his career. He finally dumped me because he didn't take the emotional infinite for a relationship.A few weeks afterwards, I ran into a girlfriend at a political party. "Someone told me you're dating Movie Maker," she said.

I shook my head no. "I was," I said, "only he turned out to be a self-involved wiggle and broke up with me."

"I dated him, also," she said. "And he dumped me, likewise. He's dated every artsy, cute Jewish girl in the metropolis. We all brand the same fault. Nosotros get for him because of his name merely call back he's some diamond in the rough because he's ugly. Except it turns out he's getting laid left and correct because every girl'southward thinking the same matter. He's a bigger histrion than a proficient-looking guy."

"You lot've striking on information technology!" I squealed, and we jumped up and down a few times, feeling similar twin Jessica Fletchers.

I haven't seen Movie Maker in five years, simply recently I caught upward with my girlfriend once more. She'd moved to L.A., bought a house, and constitute a husband. "Why exercise nosotros go for ugly guys?" I asked.

"When you date an ugly guy who's smart and interesting," she said, "yous think y'all're getting a skillful deal. You're getting him on auction. You recollect an ugly guy volition be more grateful and care for y'all meliorate."

Only of course that'southward non true. Cheaters come in all shapes and sizes, and some good-looking guys are so loyal that they're faithful.

Some women autumn for ugly guys in spite of themselves—they run across them, have a banal reaction, and then come to know and love them. I've fallen for ugly guys for a much more than obvious reason: They're grateful, which makes for meliorate sex. I once dated a guy so heavy he practically killed me every time he got on top, but he told me I was beautiful and he could never keep his hands off me, which I loved. My friend Stella, 31, a author, tin can chronicle. "A guy who's not equally attractive every bit you is more likely to tell you that you are, particularly in a place like New York, where so many women are skinnier, curvier, taller, and take clearer pare. I like to hear that. And a lot of guys I've dated never say it."

Of form, in this urban center, a adult female'southward selection to date ugly may be more survivalist than annihilation else. In cities similar L.A., every guy looks like a model, but most straight guys in New York just aren't that gorgeous. So we don't trust the handsome ones. "When I see a really bonny guy," says Stella, "I assume he's gay or a player and I don't even carp talking to him. If something about him screams sexy, that's never a skillful sign. Those are the ones you lot should run away from."

Come to the Night SideThree bars where nobody will care what you look like.

Looks That Impale